What if? aka Of Pentagons and Lovechilds
by carby101
Summary: Okay - spoilers make us go crazy, so we make up our own! Luka sleeps with Carter, Abby is in a coma - what more could you want?


Disclaimer: I own nothing save a maypole - don't sue me.you don't want the maypole.  
  
Spoilers: Yeah - if you're crazy enough to take our made up spoilers seriously.  
  
A/N: Okay - well the spoiler-free people at the carby board went a bit crazy with lack of spoilers - we made up spoilers to satisfy the cravings ..don't sue, please review and PLEASE flame. As you may guess - it is all meant to be very in character and realistic.  
  
PREVIOUSLY ON ER - We see Abby sleep with Luka, Carter find out Abby slept with Luka, Carter break up with Abby, Carter sleep with Luka, Abby sleeps with Romano and find out that she's pregnant with his baby, Susan plots to kill Carter, but Abby finds put, Abby drinks too much and ends up in an alcohol induced coma (and she was the only one who knew about Susan's plan!), Gallant is in love with Erin, who is in love with Pratt, who loves Weaver, who loves Frank, who loves Gallant! Jerry and Randi are having a passionate affair, and they had a child, who is Ella, but Mark and Elizabeth adopted her and Rachel is actually Doug's child.  
  
Luka: Carter it's been 4 days - you don't call, you ignore me... what's a guy supposed to think?  
  
Carter: I'm sorry - I was busy!  
  
Luka: With Abby, right? It's all about Abby isn't it?  
  
Carter: Luka - no, she's a friend, that's all  
  
Luka: And me - am I a friend too?  
  
Carter: No - you're much more than that to me...  
  
Luka: Oh am I? Ten maybe you'd better start acting like it!  
  
Carter: Is that a threat?  
  
Luka: Y'know you're no that pretty or that special...  
  
Carter: Don't to this Luky - we can get through this!  
  
Luka: No - we can't... wanna know a secret - Abby's pregnant, with Romano's child!  
  
Carter: What?  
  
Luka: You're probably more bothered about that than the whole thing with me.....  
  
FADE OUT  
  
Abby: (in a coma - an internal monologue) What will I do? Who do I turn to? There is so much to be explained - to Robert, to Carter..... It just isn't fair! Carter's great - he really is... but due to the laws of physics and the lack of chemistry between us (note the sarcasm) we must break up. I care about Robert - one night and yet I still think of him. The baby is all I have left of him - a little bald baby growing inside me. Wow - this is weird, I'm talking but no one can hear me! Oh look - there's Luka! Heya asshole! Screw you! Wow - this is fun!  
  
PAN OUT TO VIEW THE BEAUTIFUL LANDSCAPE OF CHICAGO, CUT TO RACHEL'S BEDROOM - THE PHONE RINGS  
  
Rachel: (picking up) Hello - Greene drugs emporium, oh hey Mr Ross! How are you? You're what- what? You're coming to Chicago? Oh.right.yeah you can stay with us! Are you bringing Carol? No? Why? Oh.she has to stay and look after the twins; well that's great then - bye! (Puts phone down) lousy sod.  
  
CUT TO THE ER  
  
(Gallant is filling in a Valentines Day card)  
  
Gallant Erin will love this! I really do love her..  
  
CUT TO ANOTHER ROOM  
  
(Erin is filling out a Valentines Day card)  
  
Erin: Pratt will love this, he's mighty fine.  
  
CUT TO YET ANOTHER ROOM  
  
(Pratt is filling out a Valentines Day card)  
  
Pratt: Dr Weaver will love this  
  
CUT TO YET ANOTHER TOOM  
  
(Weaver is filling out a Valentines Day card)  
  
Weaver: Frank will love this!  
  
CUT TO THE LAST FREE ROOM IN THE HOSPITAL  
  
(Frank is filling out a Valentines Day card)  
  
Frank: Gallant will love this.  
  
(Due to lack of storylines for these characters - a love pentagon has been devised. They'll have the feelings, ships will be rocked and we'll get two whole seasons of the stupid pentagon which is useless, because we all know that in the end Gallant and Weaver will get together)  
  
CUT TO TRIAGE (it is very empty for the purpose of this and only Randi and Jerry are there)  
  
Randi: Hello my man, my lover, my big lump of sweaty goo  
  
Jerry: Hey baby  
  
Randi: How are thing going?  
  
Jerry: Good they're good  
  
Randi: Okay - cut the smalltalk , are we going to have mad passionate sex on the admin desk or not?  
  
Jerry: I have feelings for you Randi  
  
Randi: Whatever - I don't have time for this..  
  
Jerry: Marry me Randi! We can go steal our daughter Ella back and.  
  
Randi: Jerry - No! I can't do this!  
  
Jerry: Are we breaking up?  
  
Randi: Yes!  
  
Jerry: Why?  
  
Randi: Because we've been around for too many episodes and the scriptwriters are sadists .. plus the viewing figure go down in each scene we have together..  
  
Jerry: But Randi.  
  
Randi: Screw you Jerry!  
  
(Randi leaves. Jerry falls to the floor crying)  
  
CUT TO DOCTOR'S LOUNGE  
  
(Susan sits on the couch, talking to herself, as grossly out of character, evil maniacs do)  
  
Susan: My plan cannot fail! It just cannot! Now Abby is out of the way - Carter shall die and nothing shall stand in my way...ever! I've got a gun, I've got a gun, I've got a gun...  
  
  
  
CUT TO A RECOVERY ROOM  
  
(Abby is lying in a bed - in a coma..Romano enters and goes to sit beside her)  
  
Romano: Abby - I know that you can hear me and..well I just wanted to talk to you. I've missed you in the past few days and I just haven't been myself. I love you Abby - never forget that and I can't believe you did this to yourself. I thought everything was going well, everything was perfect, we were both single and now just look at you! Abby I miss you....I love you (he holds her hand and breaks down crying)  
  
CUT TO RANDI'S HOUSE - ALL BY MYSELF PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND  
  
(Randi sits, watching TV and crying for her ex love)  
  
FADE OUT TO THE CORDAY HOUSEHOLD  
  
(where Rachel for no apparent reason lives. there is a knock on the door and Rachel runs to get it. She opens the door - Doug stands there)  
  
Rachel: Oh - hey  
  
Doug: I would expect a better response than that.from my daughter..  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
(or y'know not - me gone kuhrazy!)  
  
  
  
Thank yous to everyone at the Spoiler-free club at the carby board - you made up the ideas - not me! ::watches as a pink elephant flies on by::  
  
And of course a murderous glare at Kate for convincing me that posting this was actually good idea (LIAR!!) 


End file.
